an entry abstracted from my cousin's blog.....

"Just read my cuzzin blog n saw her facebook profile. Without she telling me, I understands wat happened. Feel totally sad over wat happen. But still, I dont noe the whole story. So i cnt jump into conclusions. I understand y she doesnt wants me to noe. Wanted to ask but i scared she tinks other wise. The fact is i'm 1/2 crying now. I dont noe y. just sad, very sad.

Gerl, i STRONGLY believe ur a strong gerl. ur like a total mirror of ur mum, strong will n believe. Wateva it is u can make it though its hard.

I LOVE YOU,GERL... "

things have been running through my head. i told myself that i don't wanna think about the shits in life, but i just can't seem to do so. those flashbacks. those memories. stuff that i don't succeed in life, namely the engagement. nah, i don't wish to elaborate further. it will never be. never will.

nevertheless, i am contented enough to have my family, cousins, gfs, who supports my decisions, telling me to be strong and all. yeah, easier said than done. but i shall try.

thank you Juli. and i love you too.

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i've been pondering time and again on the phrase "we are in this together". i don't think it makes sense to me anymore, coz at the end of the day, i'm the one facing such shits, alone.

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i know you have been calling and smsing me. and i'm sorry i haven't been answering to your calls and replying to your msgs. i just can't. not now at least.

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went to school today to purchase my sets of notes with lessie. had Gloria Jean's. then off to town to get my iPod Touch fixed. then my bestie cousin came by to join us. lunched in at Far East's Cahaya. then off to catch a movie. chilled at TCC's. window-shopped at Wisma. then back home.

with Juli's blur-ness, my bloopers, and lessie's antics, my day was made. i love you girls.


her "engrossed" turned into "engorged"! hahaha!


"seat number".. then LOLs!!! ok our joke of the day in the bus..


me and my bloopers, which i forgot what. but i had lots of laughters. oh my, just look at my i-have-not-been-sleeping-well-face. blergh!


our doses of beverages.



she's just to lazy to carry that paper bag in her hand. so her solution was to tie it to her bag. unglamorous! juli juli.....

i've had a great day loves. thank you for listening to this soul. i appreciate it.

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here i am again. lonely.

have a great weekend people.

the vicious cycle is indeed back. and as usual, i'm the one's suffering. BUT i'm NOT giving in. anymore.

i seek comfort and solace by prayers. family. girlfriends. listening to my favourite tunes. perhaps blogging too.

had a good chat with lessie yesterday, after so long. i dunno why, but we will always be destined to row the same boat. like everytime. can't wait for next week. you, me, and a chill-out place. and a day out with hudz too.

sometimes i wonder why i'm made to go through all this. maybe because of the sins i've done, be it small or big. maybe it's just me. or him. i have no idea. things just doesn't fall into place, where and what i wanted it to be, anymore.

i no more cry in my sleep. i no more cry when i'm listening to the jiwang tunes. i no more cry thinking about it. coz i'm saving my tears for something else worthy. call me cruel, heartless, or whatever. coz you'll know better if you're in my shoes. it's depressing to know you're not being appreciated.

i shall do what i have and need to do. coz i'm done and over with all this shit.

some of you might be laughing right now. i do not care. laugh all you want. laugh hard. just laugh.

coz i'm NUMBed.