Linger...

Monday, October 31, 2005,

without any last words

he bidded his farewell with his tears

received a phonecall from my elder cuzzie sis

yesterday @ 1945hrs

atok has passed away

it was heart-wrenching

looking at atok's helpless body on his deathbed

lying towards the direction of the kiblat

covered up with a kain batik

Bismillah Hirrohman Nirrohim

i slipped open the batik from his face

n kissed his forehead

i covered back n said my Fatehah for him

his face still lingers in my mind till now

his jaundiced-turned-pale body

all cold

Subbhanallah

he's been suffering since the 'death sentence'

it all started with a cancerous tumor on his right cheek

went for op but it reoccurred

went for another op

but e cancer cells were multiplying v fast tis time

then he got sarcoma

meaning dat e cancer has invaded his bones

then it all started 2 go bad

atok's vision deteriorated

he's got dysphagia n not eating v well

he's all weak n needed assisting with his ADLs

his weight loss were so sudden

he's left with only bones n skin

then e bombshell dropped

doctor said he's got less than 3 mths 2 live

dat was like 2 wks ago wen i received e news

i got all worried

WE all got worried

but i'm glad dat he's resting in peace now

he's been suffering so much

e chemotherapy n drugs

it was a painful ordeal for atok

i simply dunno hw he felt

but being an oncology student

i know wat he went thru

it was really painful

and Allah decided 2 take him frm us yesterday

Allah loves him more

we will meet agn

only time will tell

semoga atok ditempatkan dengan org2 yg beriman

AMIN

11:01 PM

Saturday, October 29, 2005,

been getting my beauty sleep well

been getting up late

1030hrs

1100hrs

if mama's at hm i'll b dead

but e main thing is dat she's nt ard in e morn

khekhekhe

taking advantage eh nurul

wat a 'responsible' daughter

*herkz*

got up at 1100hrs ti morn

hang out e clothes

clean my room

tidy up e living room

iron my clothes coz i had 2 head 2 skool

gotta reach at 1400hrs

meeting wif mdm heng lah

and e rest of the NYP cross-level training clan

*shucks*

of all days

thx eh

met sya at bedok intchge at ard 1345hrs

took num 2 n off 2 skool

ended e meeting at ard 1330hrs

then sya said she hasn't bought her sis's bdae prezzie

the 4-leaf clover pendant

so i tot y not go get it since we're already outside

ok so off 2 town

sya kept on complaining dat she's sleepy

coz it's her nap time

heehee

we saw e pendant at moshi2 e other dae

but there were only 2 designs

and e ones left were on display

so we go walk2

checked out e pendant at bits n pieces

*woah*

there were lots n lots of designs

*MADNESS*

sya cudn't decide

i helped

i also cudn't decide

heehee

*fickle*

after sumtime she settled 4 a nice one

great choice gerl

then walk2 agn

go get a black photo album frm book binding

sya bought a purple one

gonna start putting in pics 2nite

*yay*

now simply waiting 4 baby bf's call

he finished werk at ard 2000hrs

but i bet he's got other paperwerk 2 do

surely

*waits patiently*

in e meantime

i'm missing my fwenz already

their madness

their kecoh-ness

their merepek-ness

haaaiiiizzz

fond memories

that will occur only once

in my life

thank u my fwenz

12:02 PM

Friday, October 28, 2005,

*loud SIGH*

i ended my semester with STRESS

e journey thru yr 2 was truly a ROLLER-COASTER ride

but i felt so relieved tho

everyting's over

no more projects

assignments

tests & xams

lectures & tutorials

yaketty-yakking

sleepless nites

all over in juz a blink of an eye

*n sya, me no 'A' student, not even CLOSE

yg 'A' student kan U

but wat i noe

we've done our best

thanks 4 all e help n words of encougarement during our times of stress

luv u*

but i'm gonna miss my group of fun fwenz

dun tink i'll eva find such a great bunch 4 e rest of my life

i luv them ALL

we've had our share of mistakes & misunderstandings

all that makes us mature

all that makes us CLOSER

i'm GLAD

now that we'll b going on attachment soon

i juz hope that we will still b strongly bonded

*HOPE*

*ok stop e emo*

heh

i met my baby bf yesterday

FINALLY

we've been missing each other for like ages!

hevn't been seeing each other lately

1 mnth plus to be xact

thx 2 our bz schedules

but we made time 4 each other

by frequent smsing n phonecalls

n yesterday was HEAVEN

we got 2 meet like our 1st date

heehee

he n his new haircut

with his smile

greeting me

i fell in love with my baby bf all over agn

missed him so much

luv him LOADS

*huggies n kissies*

1st destination was town

searching 4 my clutch bag n shoes that matches

went 2 TANGS, ISETAN n METRO

but nothing catches my eyes

then baby bf dragged me to TAKA

n i lightened up

cos there were lots n lots of choices

i went crazy, really crazy

can't settle 4 juz particulalry ONE bag

i loik them ALL

omg

then i told baby bf 2 choose 4 me

he had to or else we wun b able 2 get out of dat plc n break our fast

baby bf said i'm cute coz of my confused facial expression

*gurls will alwaes b gurls.. so fickle*

so he got me tis clutch bag..

after that we went to a nearby 7-11 n got sumting 2 drink 4 our breaking of fast

then we headed 2 Geylang

abee drew out sum money while i go meet my fwens

irna, ayun, azizah, fina n another fwen of diff class

irna bought accessories, n ayun was dying 2 get deng2 from e bazaar

cute chicks

had our meals at S-11

n go searched 4 baby bf's, epul's, n ayah tumari's samping

he bought tis brown kain samarinda

nice

met a few of his fwenz along the wae

n of coz, they all asked e 'bonus' qn

baby bf said 'soon'

hw soon i dunno yet

but v soon

*winks*

walk2 2 search 4 my shoes 2 go with my new clutch bag

but nothing has 'seduced' my eyes yet

maybe i'll go out agn tis wkend 2 go searching agn

nw dat i'm FREE

heh

at e end of e dae

i've had so much fun

catching up wif times

telling our stories 2 each other

laugh, tease n joke ard

baby bf juz nvr fails 2 MAKE MY DAE

thank u syg

i'll c u on hari raya's eve okie

*MUAHS*

3:09 AM

Friday, October 21, 2005,

PHEW! FINALLY!
my bloggie is complete, well, almost
except for my taggie
gotta figure dat out
told u i'm not good at tis kinda stuff
heehee

aniwaes
forgot 2 write abt my trip 2 Geylang yesterdae
went wif azizah & sya
it was raining
luckily we've got umbrella wif us
sya was searching for a long necklace dat fits her kurung while
i searched for my pearlies
after a long survey
i bought my pearl necklace & a ring dat matches e necklace
nice
i loik!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

::my pearly necklace n ring::

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

::i LOIK!!!::

nice, rite?
but sumthing's missing
pearl earrings n perhaps, pearl bangles
woah!
i'm in heaven
hahah

8:13 AM

Thursday, October 20, 2005,

hahah.
i took sooooo damn long setting up my bloggie.
not good at it, i must say.
ok whatever.

FINALLY
finished up my sociology project and handed in this morn.
PHEW
like it took ages to be completed.
now dat evrything's settled, not really everything.
still have to SLOG for xams which will be on next mon & wed.
n dat NYP cross-level training.
all of a sudden, i feel a tinge of REGRET.
dunno y.
maybe bcoz of my schedule.
maybe bcoz of the questions set 4 e xams.
maybe it's juz ME
ME.. ME.. and.. ME..
haaaiiiizzz.

did a lot of shopping last 2 daes or so.
i splurged on an ESPRIT PURSE.
and an ESCADA PERFUME.
and LINGERIE.
in the end i did not shop for my baby bf.
but i shopped 4 myself instead.
how cruel of me.
but then agn.
i've no idea or watsoeva on what 2 get 4 baby bf.
haaaiiizzzz.

::splurging makes me ~HIGH~::

::i juz luuurrrvvveee stuff frm Esprit::

::finally.. my fav Escada fragrance::

::lingerie frm TopShop, of coz::

ok now
serious time.
to study all out.
and party ltr.
behavioural science and PCB.
hahah no walk in the park.
Allah, pls give me strength and confidence.
for me 2 go thru all tis obstacle.
for me 2 do my very best.
and to make me a better person.
AMIN

outz...

7:30 AM